The Grumpy Humanist

mix equal parts news, diary, gossip, and grump

My Chimp is smarter than your 5th Grader 5 July, 2007

Filed under: Animals,Anthropology,Chimps,Primatology — feliza @ 9:21 am

According to (a sister site to our friends at a study by Ohio State University has found that so-called “enculturated chimps” have enhanced “cognitive abilities, as measured by their ability to understand how to rake” compared to other chimps.

Yes, you read that right–raking. But it’s actually a really clever experiment. And, anyway, there’s nothing wrong with getting some free yard work out of it. As we all know, chimps love nothing more than landscaping.

Chimp unwinding


Tommy Chong, will you be my baby daddy?

The ever-interesting Scholars and Rogues found an awesome vid of Tommy Chong putting the smack-down on that snarky bastard Neil Cavuto. The best part is when Cavuto behaves like the lame-ass he is and asks Chong if he’s “smoked anything” today. Chong replies that Cavuto might want to try it sometime–it’ll “open [his] eyes.”

Cavuto tells it like it is

I guess Chong’s been visiting FOX and MSNBC a lot lately in promotion of his new book, The I Chong. He’s clearly intelligent and can actually carry on a conversation–which means he’s very out-of-place on shows like Cavuto’s. I checked YouTube for some more Tommy Chong goodness and found this little slice of hilarity…



What the F#%! is a Zorse? 4 July, 2007

Filed under: Animals,Cute,Horse,Videos,Zebra,Zebroid,Zorse — feliza @ 8:53 am

Half-horse, half-zebra… all awesome.

It seems this interesting little creature “will never be accepted by the zebras in the park, so they’re looking for a male pony” to be her boyfriend. Damn snobbby zebras.


My Cervix, Myself 3 July, 2007

Filed under: Feminism,Religion,sexism,Spirituality,Videos — feliza @ 10:01 am

A woman’s worth is in her cervix… right? Anybody? Right?

Enjoy get really pissed off and want to break something because of this fine video by MistahJ77 about Mormon youth groups and their promotion of thoroughly fucked up gender roles. My favorite part is when he describes how girls are told that, should they become sexually active, they are nothing more than gross, chewed-up pieces of gum.

Not that I’m singling out Mormons here. I happen to think most organized Christian sects have a very misogynistic slant. Even from the beginning, Christianity has never been a very “equal opportunity” religion.

Check out this great article by De-Conversion, which says it a hell of a lot better than I could.

(Yeah, I know–suddenly I’m not talking about Paris Hilton or making funny jokes about Cats that Look Like Hitler. It’s a little jarring for me, too.)


Paris Hilton Dog Food Sells for $305

I haven’t had my coffee yet, so I assumed that I was mistaken or confused… Alas, no. An empty can of dog food found in Paris’ trash can fetched a whopping $305 on eBay yesterday, courtesy of our friends at Hollywood Star Trash.

But that’s not all. It seems that folks are also willing to pay $305 for a used toothbrush, $510 for two envelopes, and $51 for an empty can of Coke.

Paris makes a fine offer

What the hell is going on here, people? I’m not even going to go into how gross it is to want somebody else’s used toothbrush–the thought is just too much for me right now.

And that’s not all Hollywood Star Trash is offering devoted PARISites.



Mein Kat 2 July, 2007

Filed under: Animals,Cats,Cats that Look Like Hitler,Cute,Kitler — feliza @ 8:23 am

My God, this animal is creepy.

Pic courtesy of Cats That Look Like Hitler, a fun and sort of creepy gallery of “kitlers” from around the world.

Though I think this one kind of looks more like John Waters.


USA: A-OK 1 July, 2007

Filed under: America,Michael Moore,Politics,Universal Health Care — feliza @ 11:39 am

It’s always a good day when, as an American, I don’t feel like a total douchebag. The Nascent Observer brought some good news to me… erm, sort of.

Two things you should know about me: 1) I’m a bit of a Michael Moore fan and 2) I’ve never been to Canada. For those of you who are familiar with Moore’s film, Bowling for Columbine, rest assured that I, too, thought that Canada is the Land of Universal Health Care and Low Gun Crime.

“Free insulin for everybody!”

“Insulin for everybody!”

However, the Nascent Observer wants to clarify a little and let us know that “Canada isn’t as it’s portrayed.”